This blog is about my life. How I live it with the people I love. Adventures and misadventures in my life is journalled here.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Why we want to have kids and pains of motherhood

Disclaimer: This is my point of view. I hope you respect that, when you read my thoughts below. We may have different views on this so I am reiterating that this is MY point of view.

Why we want to have kids and the pains of motherhood. This is the recent topic in my egroup - newlywedsatwork. I was about to compose my response when I thought of just posting it here.

Hubby and I have been together for almost eight years when we decided to get married (almost, because our anniv is Dec. 10 and we got married Dec. 7). Though we've been together for so long, we have never experienced traveling together - just the two of us. We both came from conservative families so definitely di kami papayagan so our arrangement then is we'll be childfree for one year after being married so we can travel to our heart's content. Though we have this plan, we did not resort to having any kind of contraception - for us, it is: come what may. Hubby's two siblings both have difficulty in having kids that it took them at least three years to have kids so we thought why have contraception when we don't know how easy will it be for us to conceive. Come what may - it depends on when God wants us to have one, though preferably after a year. It turns out, it's easy for us to conceive, LOL - after a month of being married - we got pregnant. Of course we're excited, surprised but excited. I did not have an easy pregnancy but we so look forward to it. So, I can say that during that time, we really have no serious thinking as to why we want to have a kid - that time this is what we saw as natural - the natural path, the right way to go. I remember that when we attended Discovery Weekend before getting married we even discussed that we want maximum of four kids - preferrably 2 boys and 2 girls if we are given the choice. Again, that time, walang isipan how expensive and hard it is to raise four children.

Now that we have one, if I'll answer this question again, I'll have a deeper answer. We never thought that having a kid is this HARD. I actually even asked my siblings why they didn't tell me how hard it is. Not because we're regretting of having one, don't get me wrong, but more of because we could have prepared more before actually plunging into parenthood. It is very HARD but also very REWARDING. It's true that a child can give you so much joy that only your child can give, their love for you is so pure, so unpretentious, so unconditional, so undescribeable.

Related to pains of mother/parenthood, there are time when I wonder if I made the right decision of having a kid. Being responsible for one person is such a big responsibility that should not be taken lightly minsan I even wonder if I am doing things right, if my decisions and actions today will bring out a positive effect on my child.

Now, when people asks us kung kelan susundan, we reply to them na hindi muna, mahirap. I don't know why people won't take this answer on its own when they themselves are mostly parents who've experience rearing a child. It's a big responsibility that we believe should be accepted wholeheartedly. Kung ngayon pa lang, hubby and I are both having difficulty/feel challenged in rearing one child, what more if we add another one. Concerns like, are we good parents? can we give him everything he needs and at the same time be sure that we are not spoiling him? or that can we be sure that we are not making everything easy for him? can we provide him the best education that we can give without sacrificing our life? are we patient enough to handle the usual curiousity of children, most esp. toddlers? are we emotionally, physical and financially ready to support another one? Yes, it's very nice to have another one, syempre sabi nga nila the more the merrier but will we still be good parents?

Mahirap for us as we both have very demanding jobs and even if we're on these jobs we also make sure that we are hands-on parents. I guess one of my so-called accomplishments is that my son will never trade us with any of his yayas. As in! when we're home - nobody can do anything for him except us. Ayaw nyang yaya ang magpaligo sa kanya, ayaw nyang yaya ang magpalit ng damit nya, ayaw nyang yaya ang magpakain sa kanya and even in washing his butt after making poo it has to be either me or hubby basta we're home. I guess we did something right when even nung baby pa sya eh kami na ang nag-aalaga sa kanya when we're home - he got used to that. Yes, nakakapagod kasi supposed to be rest from work but now, I saw the advantage. He knows that the yayas are temporary caretakers - only when mommy and daddy are not home. That's why it was never hard for him when a yaya leaves us, he can easily transition to the new yaya. Given this, can we still do it for another kid? are we prepared? we don't know. I guess this is the reason why until now, we're not ready to have another kid. this I leave to God, to again, give us a child when He knows we are ready and we are deserving of rearing another one.

Beijing China kwento - part 1

I was fortunate enough to be included to those who will attend our firm’s global symposium in Beijing, China. There were ten of us, three partners and four senior managers/managers. Three of us left for Beijing on Wednesday, May 28, early morning as we’ve decided to take the China Southern airline. We were actually given a choice of airline, either China Southern, with travel time of six hours (including the stop over in Xiamen) or thru Cathay via Hongkong but the travel time is nine hours (including transfer of plane in HK) and will be arriving late night of Wednesday which I didn’t like so we chose the first one. China Southern is a small plane, same as the plane used by Cebu Pacific on their international flights, language is Chinese and most of the passengers are Chinese, I agree that Cathay would have been a better option but we opted for this because the time that we’ll get to ride Cathay is two hours lang to HK then the three hours is via a domestic plane din so ok lang.

We have a stop over in Xiamen for 40 mins to complete the entry requirements, we had the immigration and customs check here then went back to our plane. We landed Beijing at past 3pm. Our first impression – yuck! Smog!! As in we’re so shocked to see the very poor visibility due to dirty air (but we later on was told that it’s like that because of all the construction and that since it’s windy, the sands on the nearby dessert is being carried to the city – but according to Wikipedia, madumi talaga air in Bejing – must be the reason why I developed throat infection), funny pa kasi one of the kids of the partners commented that kawawa naman daw ang kids sa Beijing because they don’t know that the sky is blue. Hehehehe…..

Since we already completed the immigration and customs check in Xiamen, we went straight to the luggage carousel and waited for our luggage then went for currency change. Hay naku, inikot-ikot pa namin lahat ng money changer sa airport to get the best deal only to find out that they charge RMB60 so lugi pa rin. Then our next problem was how to go to the hotel given that nobody among us three can speak Mandarin. So we went to the taxi queue hoping that the driver will understand the printed name of the hotel pero unfortunately hindi so we’ve just decided to call the hotel and let them talk to the driver. I was surprised that Beijing is so clean, modern and has lots and lots of building, may expectation kasi is tipong Chinatown but eto, hindi, parang HK but bigger and marami pa ring nagba-bike. Funny as tipong mga naka-high heels and suit pero nagba-bike, it was also my first time to see a hybrid bicycle/motorcycle, I want sana to take pictures but baka ma-offend sila. According to most of our colleagues, there have been really huge improvements in Beijing in preparation for the Olympics. To those who’ve been there two years ago, na-surprise din sila with the development. We spent RMB70+ to get to our hotel. We’re booked at Park Plaza in Wangfujing, buti na lang ganda location ng hotel namin, it’s in the middle of the happenings. Rested for a while then prepared for the cocktails and registration for the symposium on Regent Hotel, venue of the symposium, which is just beside our hotel and even has connecting doors as same owner sila. Chika chika with the partners from Germany, US, HK, etc. then went back to hotel to change to casual for pasyal. Good thing most of the hotel staff can speak English, we asked them how to go to the Food street which is famous for the weird grilled and fried foods such as scorpion, snake, sea urchin, centipede, sea horse, bugs, etc. It was two blocks away from our place and shock kami na talagang totoo pala yun, we’re hungry pero upon seeing these “exotic” food and the smell! Yucky!! Nawalan talaga kami ng gana. But since we’re so hungry as cocktails lang talaga yun sa registration ng symposium we opted to try the safe food just so we have some food in our stomach. After that pasyal-pasyal on the malls of Wangfujing. We’re surprised that it’s cold as when I checked the internet before I left, we’re not expecting it to be that cold, para kaming nasa SanFo sa lamig then add pa the wind and to think I only brought a shawl with me.

At the Street Food Market with some of the weird food:

Me with an officemate while walking along the main road. At the back you'll see the bicycle sign post, they have a dedicated lane for bicycles. Really good huh! wish we have here one for the motorcycles:

To be continued...

Monday, June 23, 2008

The HOT seat

Saw this tag answered already by some of my co-bloggers but this is the first time that I was tagged with this question, so Tet, thanks for this!

Are you deeply in love with your spouse or boyfriend/Girlfriend? If you do, let’s try how well you remember the moment of your life with him. But before you put yourself in the hot seat please read the rules of this tag first.

RULES:1. This tag should be pass on to your closest friends.2. Visit the blog of the person you’ve got this tag.3. Leave a comment on her/his tag post. Be sure to thank her/him for this tag.4. Highlight and link all the list of people who accepted this tag by visiting their blog site.5. There are 10 questions that you need to answer but you will be the one to write the 10th question for the next person you want to pass this tag.

Here’s your questions: Be Honest and True!

1. How did you meet your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend? We met on our enrollment day for college major in UST back in 1995. We're enrolling for 3rd year college and first year for Accounting major. We met in Casa Ilongga for lunch. He's with a friend, JP (our common acquiantance). He knows JP from their church org while JP was our class president on second year. I was with my barkada from second year. We were introduced with each other and found out that we'll be classmates. My friends think he's gwapo, my bestfriend even had a hard crush on him pero ako nun, di ko pa sya type.

2. Where did you went in your first date? In SM City, we watched Bridges of Madison County then ate at Wendy's.

3. When was your first intimate kiss? Hay naku, bakit ba hindi ko eto tinandaan? pero parang nung moment yata na sinagot ko sya. Oh di ba, ang bilis ng mga pangyayari

4. How many girlfriends/boyfriends he/she had in the past? Do you honestly know? nung mag-bf pa kami, mas natatandaan ko, even kung ilan dun ang seryoso at alin ang MU and most of them, I saw na whether intentional or unintentional pero so far ngayon, ang natatandaan ko na lang eh 5, hindi rin kasi sya comfortable na dini-discuss ang past relationships nya. kumbaga eh kaya lang namin napapag-usapan is because nakita naman yun tao or something.

5. What is his/her ethnicity? Filipino with probably a touch of Spanish kasi medyo mestizo ang features though he's naturally dark skinned but not to dark naman

6. What is his/her favorite food? sinigang, steak, japanese food

7. What is he/she like if he/she is mad? nakakatakot pag galit, as in!

8. What are the things he/she did you thought is the most romantic thing he’d/she’d ever done? madami, we've been together for almost 13 years now since naging kami. top of the chart are the following: (1) bf/gf pa kami - hinatid nya ko pauwi from la union to pasig then pagkahatid, balik na sya ulit ng la union. (2) when i was still a staff in the office and super OT na tipong hanggang madaling araw - what he'll do is he'll ask me to call him pag ready na ko umuwi, kahit tulog na sya, he'll wake up, susunduin nya ko sa office ng naka-taxi then dun nya muna ko patutulugin sa bahay nila. (3) also, everyday from work, hinahatid nya ko pauwi ng pasig from makati then uwi sya ng QC no matter how late. (4) when we took the CPA board exam, he'll wake up really early to pick me up from my boarding house, uwi kami sa kanila then sabay kami punta sa exam site (5) nung bagong panganak ako, hindi ko kaya ni tingnan ang tahi ko (CS kasi ako) - sya ang naglilinis ng sugat ko. as in! (6) also nung nanganak ako, ayaw kasi ng inlaws ko ako paliguin, what he did was he brought me to do the parlor to have my hair shampooed kasi di ko na matiis ang kati and he will always carry me going down sa stairs para di ma-pressure tahi ko. hmm... lately, ano nga ba?

9. Describe how he/you proposed to you. May 1, 2002, we went to Corregidor and he proposed while we're on the top of the lighthouse.

10. Where was your honeymoon? we had a seven days vacation in Boracay. we left on the 10th, we had our wedding on the 7th of December. we stayed first in Fairways and Bluewaters then we moved to Nami Private Villas. We're also on leave the whole month of December so enjoy talaga sa vacation.

THEY PLAYED ALONG:1. Soujourn2. Pinay Mom in Czech Republic3. See Me for What You Will4. Lainy’s Musings5. Our Journey To Forever6. Sheng’s Simple Thoughts…7. Pinay WAHM8. Me and My World9. coicoi’s World10. BLOGSILOG11. A Mother’s Horizon12. Because Life Is Fun12. Swept Away 13. A Sweet Taste Of Life. 14. Juls Random Thoughts

Hmmm... I dunno who else to tag as so far, the blogs I've seen did this already.

No classes today

Because of the typhoon whose wrath was experienced yesterday, DECS declared that highschool and elementary have no classes today. The little boy's reaction? he's NOT happy about it. As in he won't accept that he doesn't have school today. I am one happy mom because it means he's enjoying school. According to MIL, they will take him to school if he insists so he can just play there (the school is one vacant lot and two houses away our house).

About the rains yesterday, the little boy had fun playing in the rain earlier yesterday and had more fun when the fish pond in a vacant lot near our house overflowed. He had a lot of fun catching the fish with his cousins, dada and uncle. I took a lot of pics of them having fun. Will post it here soon.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Pundaquit pictures

Remember this post? well, here are the overdue pictures:

This is the beach used in Maging Sino Ka Man book 1, the island where Sam stayed. The silhoutte of a boy is my nephew seating on a banca on the picture below:

The 7-people capacity tents that we used. The red cover can be removed and a see-through net will be seen, very nice for stargazing:
Kurt playung with his two cousins:
My nephews. Then on the far hut is where we keep the food and at the back of the hut is my car parked:
Kurt and his cousin enjoying the sand:

More info about the school

Additional info about the school:

  • since it's the little boy's first time to go to school, we chose the preschool along our street lang but reliable kasi hubby's nephew and niece also had their preschool there and pareho namang ok pagdating sa St. Paul and CSA. he's enrolled this year as Nursery. we're intending to move him to big school next year if he's ready if not, he'll stay here muna.
  • when we attended the parent's orientation last saturday, the little boy stayed with his classmates agad, playing. As in hiwalay agad sa min.
  • included in the tuition are his four books in Language, Math, Reading and Values and one diary where the teacher will write notes to parents.
  • we don't have to bring any school materials like crayons, pencil, etc as this will all be provided by the school
  • bawal ang junk food, softdrinks and bottled drinks as baon
  • they always have to wear uniform - unfortunately, di kami nakabili ng may paha sa bewant kasi di kasya sa little boy. His uniform are all size 10! while his socks are for 4-7 years old to think he's only 3 1/2 years old.
  • they have two exams the entire year (October 14-17 and February 23-27) as assessment of their progress; first holiday of the little boy is July 2 - Pasig day; October 27 - November 3 - semestral break; December 20 - January 5 - Christmas break; March 16 - start of summer
  • first friday of the month is PE day at the village park and it's time is 8:30-10:30am so good luck sa min sa pagising ng little boy ng maaga
  • other fridays are for Music, Art and Storytelling at 10:00am - 11:30am

First day of school

The little boy had his first day of school today. I am so anxious, excited and worried - excited kasi finally mag-school na little boy, worried kasi may times na hindi sya excited, may time na excited. His class starts at 11:10am and ends at 1:10pm. Maaga pa lang gising na kami, the little boy is having mixed feelings so to change it to excitement I told him that when his alarm clock rings, it's time to take a bath na so na-excite sya. Next prob that we had, sobrang ayaw nyang isuot polo, mainit kasi but finally I got to convince him. So here are the pics of the little boy.

So, what happened in the school? surprisingly, he was kinda shy and NR kanina that even the teacher was surprised kasi nagsalimpusa na sya last year and he was active, the conclusion was kasi ako ang kasama kanina unlike last year, yaya lang, he's always looking at me at the back checking if I'm still there. Eh last year super bibo daw to think he was younger then.

Tomorrow, he'll go with yaya na lang so hopefully he'll cooperate more. Funny kasi when the teacher says stand up, di sya tatayo that the aide has to ask him to stand up pa then after a minute, upo na ulit sya. Though actually, ok na ko kasi at least, pagdating pa lang sa school, humiwalay na sya sa kin unlike other kids na umiiyak or ayaw umalis sa mommy nila so proud na ko of my little boy. Sana tuloy-tuloy na eto. Kanina, I felt envy sa mga SAHMs kasi how I wish I'll see the boy everyday sa school unfortunately working ako so di possible yun unless I always go on leave kasi alanganin pasok ni kurt. Medyo nagte-teary eyed na rin ako kasi I can't believe that he's a preschool already. Everybody in the house was surprised when they saw the pictures, big boy na raw talaga. Haaayyy.... wala na talaga ang baby ko.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Back from Beijing

Got back from Beijing, China last night. Here are some of the pictures. These are only the pics from my phone as I'm still charging the battery of my camera and most of our pictures are taken by my officemate.

A tea pot and cup beside a tea store

The famous food street with the weird grilled and fried starfish, scorpion, sea horse, sea urchin, etc.

My name written in chinese calligraphy in a rice paper

Bird's nest - the olympics stadium
Me in Great Wall of China Badaling side. Went to the 4th tower, took us 888 steep steps to get there!
More pics coming soon. We're able to go to Great Wall of China, Ming's Tombs, Summer Palace, Tiananment Square, and Forbidden City.